Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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