so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
soo... how was my night?
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