end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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