Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
