??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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