Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
