Dual....:-)
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
