LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
