I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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