It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
