if you like me you must not know who I am
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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