Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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