Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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