i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
