I understand Curling. That high.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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