And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize