Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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