Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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