Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you inspire me to be a worse person
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
