That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize