it wasn't lemon gatorade
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
