brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
