I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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