Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
