Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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