yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
