What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
