Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
