I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize