Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
