i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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