just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
A bitchslap is in order.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
