Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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