I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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