Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
