I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
