I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
