I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
