I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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