He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
As shirtless as possible
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
