Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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