So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
