i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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