We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
