and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish i was in the wii world.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
