i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
