A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize