just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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