shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
