Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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