I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
