I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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