all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
please come you make the beer taste better
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
