check it out our google latitudes are spooning
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize