I puked a lego.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
