This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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