Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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