put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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