Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He? As in you personified your dick?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize