i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
