I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
