a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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