Where is the hickey?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
