Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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