thus making me awesome and them whores
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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