Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
