airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
