I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
